How to Navigate the Messy Middle
Right now my boyfriend and are in the early stages of remodeling a house. While we are going through the process of approving the design, applying for permits, getting budgets from our contractor we are living in an apartment that feels like a rest spot since we don't know how long we will be here. 90% of our stuff is in boxes in a storage unit, we have NO IDEA what it takes to remodel a house and have zero idea about how long all of this will take.
The past three months and, to be honest, the rest of 2022 is probably going to be us living in the messy middle of transition.
This place sucks. I am pretty sure it is the bad place.
I know there are a ton of details down the road we will have to figure out. I know there will be huge roadblocks and things will be delayed...but right now the only thing I can do is continue to plant one foot in front of the other and focus on what is directly in front of me.
This process is very much what it is like to figure out what you want to do next in your career.
You might have an idea of where you want to end up, you might have a sense of the direction where you want to go...but you have no idea how to get there.
When we can't see the road in front of us clearly it is really easy to throw in the towel on ourselves and try a different path that feels more clear. But the honest truth is that THIS is part of the process. You have to go through this weird, murky and unsettling middle to get to the other side. You have to learn to keep moving even when you can't see where you are going.
So how do we get through this? How do we keep our momentum up when things are so very uncomfortable and let's be real, kind of demoralizing?
Take small steps: When you are feeling overwhelmed, focus on one or two things that need to happen at this moment. Just focus on getting those done. Once in a while, you should check in to see you are still heading in the right direction, but don't focus on the parts you are not at yet. You will get there.
Call in your team: Who are the people around you who can help you navigate through this part? Do you have a mentor? A therapist? A coach? (heeellloooo!!!) A group of friends who are all going through the same thing? Bottom line - when you are spiraling, GET SOME HELP. The right people can help you bring your anxiety back down and bring some perspective on what is important to get done next.
Adjust your timeline expectations: Did you have a goal that you could muscle through this stage in three months and it is taking WAY longer than you expected? That is OKAY. Things will always take longer than we think. Especially in our society where everything is instantaneous. If you only focus on how long it is taking you will feel super shitty about yourself - and that is not conducive to the curiosity and exploration needed to navigate through the messy middle.
Take breaks: If you need to put your career search on hold because of life - then do it. Give yourself compassion for being human. You can always come back to it. You will not lose anything by taking a break. In fact, rest is one of the most important things you can do to help with clarity.